You don’t need to go where you already are.

It’s gotta be over 6 inches before you can donate it

We’ve got quite a few weapons now

I am trying to eat my rice

I’ve got several on the go!

Have you got a long one?

I love buying new fabric softener

Use it or lose it… sister

Quentin can study me

I like when they’re hard

My lemon tree has a lemon on it

Let me cream up

I’m kind of camp and in touch with that kind of thing

And he will be peeling my hair out of his mouth!

Mines prettier because mine is black

I like sausage, alright…

He was enormous.

If you ever want to excite me, get me a sausage roll, waft it in front of my face

lift it to my lips please

You can stick yours in mine

I would rather have a big black man on my screen, than a massive spider

We always have a quickie in the kitchen

I had a massive paper-round shut up

I’ll clack me clacker up

I’ll kick your head through a window

I like the way it shoots up your nose like mustard

They could smack them balls, real hard

Sometimes it’s just too big

Mmmmm, meat juices.

I’ll have your mushroom, you can have my egg

Check out those buns, buns of steel

I was really pleased that we managed to squeeze cox in

Just go home and have a sausage

That was mine!

It’s noticeably big

And this one is too small…

I don’t mind a little cornichons

Does he want to join as well?

Not in front of these two mate

I’ve been in impossible spaces

I’m not Klarnaing a fleshlight!

This last few weeks I’ve spent a long time staring at Cox, I think I need counselling

Do you want another penis stuck on your monitor?

You thought about your hammer before you used it

It wasn’t an invite for people to **** me in the bum

You should literally eat her

Gotta be honest, it was quite a big one

Nothing is racist unless you are being obnoxious

Yeah but have you seen the size of it?

Paul O’Grady – The Doggy Lover

Do you know what? I’m in love with you

Don’t mind me, just having a lick

Oh, he’s doing the french thing again

Isn’t a homo sapiens a dinosaur

Dan, I’d do ya

Ask her if we can have a look

That’s a nice looking burger.

He could say he got it in a swordfight

You’re like Gaddafi

They look like they were poured into that seat

I’ve not studied your mum, but if she looks like a sailor, i’ll tell you!

You’ve got tits in your back garden?

Smash the backdoors in

I like stretching mi’lungs out

It was a pain in the bum to get it in anyway

That was the right key to my backdoor by the way mate

Yes, he will… because he’s fat

I touched yours, to see how deep it was

Would you mind tempering your language, it’s foul

My hole is actually wider

Is that like scissoring but for men?

Like Matilda

There’s more to a relationship than their phallus

Don’t you just love horns?

It sticks a little bit so… gently feel it

Ooh, that was an hard one

You know what, suck it!

That’s a long banana isn’t it…

I’m going to degrade the **** out of it

Harry Dogger

I’ve been in the back of a cow, and I loved it

There’s nothing wrong with them, stop being gay

I’ve got great tits

That’s my garden, have a look

I like that it’s thick and creamy

I love the sogginess

I just love photographing children

She’ll like it, don’t worry!

Can you smell the wood?

All the stuff they swallow

She’s already been done by the electric one

She just got in between my legs!

I could step in them, I’ve got really pretty feet

It’s huge, I’ve never seen anything like it

I’m all turned on

He let me do that bird

I love boys

You bought him a cake? Suck up!

Why isn’t it pink?

Might be empty in the head, but good in bed

I knew it was gonna be hard, that

Do you want some mayonnaise?

She’s got Cox on her mind

If i’m gonna smell of sperm, i want it to be mine!

I’m not doing any stripping tonight

Do it, it buzzes in your hand

Squirt a bit of that in

Have you ever looked up hentai?

My chair is stuck on my shoelace, how did that happen?

If you went to prison, you’d be currency

It rubs off on you in the end as well doesn’t it

Is that Mike’s box?

You pulled it too hard

It only lasted for 30 seconds

Make it squeak

Can’t you buy a bigger chair, for you?

I love the sound of scissors

I’ve got some nuts!

New Letter

Fucking grinch shut the fuck up

I sat on one of my bollocks yesterday

Can I poke one?

Hello

I like brown meat anyway

Who wants to go to the shop anyway?…..it’s full of peasants.

I would be most put out if i was put to the back of the queue.

I like it in there, it’s cold and makes noises.

Feel my card

I’ll fill that hole up with rubber stuff

FWD

I don’t even like the thighs…

Shove them wherever they will go

With your feet, you’ll glide

Be gentle with his crack

That’s huge yeah!

Rob’s autistic

My first husband was a butcher, he wouldn’t eat sausage

I am an absolute ******* *******

******* hell it’s massive

I’m gonna choke on this pencil in a minute

Oh god, I couldn’t stand to be dragged round there

There were balls everywhere

I prefer them when they’re hard

Most of the things I’ve seen are small.

You’re a peasant

He never comes up my end.

It’s better when it’s wet

Seriously, I wanna be there, when that slips out

That was the longest, hardest one.

For the oral test that I had to do

I dont want to talk about feelings, I want to talk about engines.

Kev booted a glove at an innocent frenchman (10/05/2023)

The shine on his head is a bit of a turn off – it’s brighter than my future

How many fingers can you get up there?

In my mouth daddy

I said I’ll do the dog

Did anyone else see the rainbow on the way to work this morning?

I had a taste of his bhuna (I bet you did)

Thanks I’m ill again!

It’ll go in now!

This rum is full of balls

I’ve only got little fingers

My nipples are erect

I love a green banana, they’re fresh and firm

That lager doesn’t half make your bum hurt does it?

Is she a gusher?

Wow, he’s just so yummy

It’s too furry

If people can find happiness in a village, you can find it in a medium-sized town

People think I’m gay

Firstly, you’re a girl and secondly, you like leather

I keep looking at her pickles

I’d marry Jerry Scheff

Fannies are brilliant

I’m strictly bareback

I know a gardener, that will come and trim my hedge

Are you on about the gocompare guy?

I cried at the end.

Give me a finger then

I like the gay one better

I think that was an F sharp

You’re going to get a load of education very shortly.

He’s not ugly, he’s just not beautiful in the conventional sense.

I can take that off and squirt it up my bum

You haven’t pressed transfer, you nugget

Fwd

How do you put that in?

Anyone want some of my nuts? it’s a good source of protein!

I have nothing against you or your mushrooms

Bum… now tits!

I’ve just poked myself in the eye… I can’t see

my knee is itchy

You’re not dripping in gucci are you?

Everytime you pulled them off, it went all over the ceiling

I’ll take a beating I don’t mind

I’m ready for a lot of sausage let me tell you!

I need a nap

She wants Rob to splash her… that’s for certain

I think I just like animals

You’re the thing that everything goes through

British people do my tits in

Compact and bijou

I would never have chosen a white one.

I forgot about him fisting it

I think i’ve eaten too much cheese

You’ve got a lot to fiddle with there

You like it when you get threatened

Create a vaccuum

Why didn’t you give me an abdominal thrust?

An expert in blowing Kev’s trumpet

I would like your balls please

Nearly choked on my banana

There’s summat wrong with you

Nothing left in any crevice

He will be picking my studs from his bumhole

*atchoo* ahh, that hurt my balls

Rimmed it

I like my melon in balls

Tyler’s balls were in my face

It’s a really small gap how do they expect you to get your finger in there

Meg would you like a finger, from me?

Wanking? IDK?

For someone that’s not inbred, you do look a bit weird

You just squirted some stuff at me

Does anybody want a black anything?

Do you need an abdominal thrust?

I gave one to Becky’s mum the other day

It looks small in the pics, but its actually quite big

Don’t stick it in too hard, you might not get it out

I like the occasional sausage… I love a sausage

you’re a big tasty man aren’t you

I was sweating my cock off in the kitchen

Get your baton out

There’s been some pretty good serial killers

That is tapped innit…

Just wanted to see what it smelt like when it popped!

I’ll be swooning

Jolly well get over there

I’m happy to knock your wall in

I’ve seen clitorises bigger than that

It makes sense doesn’t it because you like garden centres

Big is relative

It was like stabbing a lemon… but only a little bit

You can come as many times as you like

Show me your beetroot juice

Roll it up into a massive ball and shove it all in

I regularly block my toilet. I block it more often than I don’t. Daily.

They’re very good, because they’re pure suction

I’d like to make a friend of him, not to abuse him

It’s classic gaslighting isn’t it

Even if I was bored I wouldn’t stick something up my bum

I didn’t know… that rice affects your sugar levels

I’ll come again

She came in at 07:20 and i woke up with a random guy!

I don’t know why it’s so hard

I have been riding all my life

It might accidentally slip out

It’s 25 cunting degrees!

Sometimes we want more than the tip, we want the full length

Listen! I’m not your performing monkey right!

It’s terrible about the gays and that

if you don’t like toffee you can just have a finger!

I might not be able to do screwing

Jeepers Creepers, I nearly had a heart attack

I was practising earlier with my dad

I’m gonna worm you

I love their puddings

She can put anything anywhere

Coming thick and fast

She did give it to me

You might be a right spaz in the head and a spaz in bed

I wanna get out and stroke it

Do you want work to do or do you want to go out on the dole?