Show me your beetroot juice

I’ve got some honey left in case you want to suck on that

Dan, I’d do ya

you’re a big tasty man aren’t you

I don’t know why it’s so hard

My nipples are erect

How do you put that in?

Do you want another penis stuck on your monitor?

He could say he got it in a swordfight

Can I poke one?

I’m gonna worm you

It sticks a little bit so… gently feel it

I like stretching mi’lungs out

I am trying to eat my rice

The shine on his head is a bit of a turn off – it’s brighter than my future

I’ve just poked myself in the eye… I can’t see

Jolly well get over there

Ooh, that was an hard one

Ask her if we can have a look

I wanna get out and stroke it

You can stick yours in mine

Tyler’s balls were in my face

Is she a gusher?

I said I’ll do the dog

My hole is actually wider

And he will be peeling my hair out of his mouth!

I like sausage, alright…

I’m kind of camp and in touch with that kind of thing

You’re like Gaddafi

I’d like to make a friend of him, not to abuse him

I sat on one of my bollocks yesterday

Wow, he’s just so yummy

He let me do that bird

Everytime you pulled them off, it went all over the ceiling

You just squirted some stuff at me

I would rather have a big black man on my screen, than a massive spider

He will be picking my studs from his bumhole

You should literally eat her

She just got in between my legs!

I’ll take a beating I don’t mind

That’s my garden, have a look

my knee is itchy

I had a taste of his bhuna (I bet you did)

Do you want some mayonnaise?

I prefer them when they’re hard

Nothing left in any crevice

You like it when you get threatened

Does anybody want a black anything?

Rimmed it

I like that it’s thick and creamy

I’ll come again

Mmmmm, meat juices.

Seriously, I wanna be there, when that slips out

I love the sound of scissors

I would never have chosen a white one.

If people can find happiness in a village, you can find it in a medium-sized town

You’ve got a lot to fiddle with there

I’d marry Jerry Scheff

Is that Mike’s box?

In my mouth daddy

They’re very good, because they’re pure suction

Did anyone else see the rainbow on the way to work this morning?

FWD

*atchoo* ahh, that hurt my balls

That was the right key to my backdoor by the way mate

I’m happy to knock your wall in

I like when they’re hard

She came in at 07:20 and i woke up with a random guy!

They could smack them balls, real hard

They look like they were poured into that seat

That lager doesn’t half make your bum hurt does it?

I like brown meat anyway

Just go home and have a sausage

You thought about your hammer before you used it

I’ve only got little fingers

She’s already been done by the electric one

I’ll kick your head through a window

Isn’t a homo sapiens a dinosaur

If i’m gonna smell of sperm, i want it to be mine!

She wants Rob to splash her… that’s for certain

He never comes up my end.

I had a massive paper-round shut up

I’ve got some nuts!

There were balls everywhere

I’ve not studied your mum, but if she looks like a sailor, i’ll tell you!

With your feet, you’ll glide

I just love photographing children

Feel my card

You bought him a cake? Suck up!

It looks small in the pics, but its actually quite big

It wasn’t an invite for people to **** me in the bum

You’re the thing that everything goes through

Harry Dogger

Thanks I’m ill again!

I forgot about him fisting it

I like the way it shoots up your nose like mustard

Does he want to join as well?

Be gentle with his crack

Have you got a long one?

I’m all turned on

Give me a finger then

That’s a long banana isn’t it…

Might be empty in the head, but good in bed

That’s huge yeah!

He’s not ugly, he’s just not beautiful in the conventional sense.

Compact and bijou

I am an absolute ******* *******

Oh, he’s doing the french thing again

That was the longest, hardest one.

It’s classic gaslighting isn’t it

It makes sense doesn’t it because you like garden centres

Fucking grinch shut the fuck up

People think I’m gay

That was mine!

I think I just like animals

We always have a quickie in the kitchen

You don’t need to go where you already are.

I like the gay one better

Is that like scissoring but for men?

Why isn’t it pink?

I’ll be swooning

Roll it up into a massive ball and shove it all in

Sometimes we want more than the tip, we want the full length

I like my melon in balls

Jeepers Creepers, I nearly had a heart attack

Do you want work to do or do you want to go out on the dole?

It was like stabbing a lemon… but only a little bit

If you ever want to excite me, get me a sausage roll, waft it in front of my face

I’ve got several on the go!

Listen! I’m not your performing monkey right!

There’s been some pretty good serial killers

I like it in there, it’s cold and makes noises.

She’ll like it, don’t worry!

Sometimes it’s just too big

I love boys

It only lasted for 30 seconds

Don’t stick it in too hard, you might not get it out

Can you smell the wood?

You might be a right spaz in the head and a spaz in bed

I touched yours, to see how deep it was

I’m going to degrade the **** out of it

Yeah but have you seen the size of it?

I love buying new fabric softener

lift it to my lips please

Kev booted a glove at an innocent frenchman (10/05/2023)

I can take that off and squirt it up my bum

You know what, suck it!

I dont want to talk about feelings, I want to talk about engines.

I need a nap

It’s too furry

I’ve been in impossible spaces

I have been riding all my life

Why didn’t you give me an abdominal thrust?

It might accidentally slip out

It’s huge, I’ve never seen anything like it

Let me cream up

I’ll fill that hole up with rubber stuff

Coming thick and fast

There’s summat wrong with you

New Letter

My chair is stuck on my shoelace, how did that happen?

I knew it was gonna be hard, that

I love their puddings

Would you mind tempering your language, it’s foul

It’ll go in now!

Paul O’Grady – The Doggy Lover

I didn’t know… that rice affects your sugar levels

I’ve got great tits

Oh god, I couldn’t stand to be dragged round there

Rob’s autistic

You’re a peasant

Use it or lose it… sister

I cried at the end.

Yes, he will… because he’s fat

Check out those buns, buns of steel

Are you on about the gocompare guy?

Nearly choked on my banana

Anyone want some of my nuts? it’s a good source of protein!

We’ve got quite a few weapons now

It’s terrible about the gays and that

Mines prettier because mine is black

I’m ready for a lot of sausage let me tell you!

Who wants to go to the shop anyway?…..it’s full of peasants.

I keep looking at her pickles

Not in front of these two mate

I like the occasional sausage… I love a sausage

Even if I was bored I wouldn’t stick something up my bum

Just wanted to see what it smelt like when it popped!

I was practising earlier with my dad

Fwd

For the oral test that I had to do

My lemon tree has a lemon on it

I’ve seen clitorises bigger than that

Bum… now tits!

I’m strictly bareback

You’ve got tits in your back garden?

I gave one to Becky’s mum the other day

I don’t mind a little cornichons

Do you need an abdominal thrust?

I don’t even like the thighs…

It was a pain in the bum to get it in anyway

Can’t you buy a bigger chair, for you?

My first husband was a butcher, he wouldn’t eat sausage

You can come as many times as you like

I’m not Klarnaing a fleshlight!

Like Matilda

He was enormous.

Squirt a bit of that in

And this one is too small…

I know a gardener, that will come and trim my hedge

It rubs off on you in the end as well doesn’t it

You pulled it too hard

I love the sogginess

Shove them wherever they will go

You’re going to get a load of education very shortly.

Smash the backdoors in

I’m not doing any stripping tonight

This rum is full of balls

That’s a nice looking burger.

This last few weeks I’ve spent a long time staring at Cox, I think I need counselling

Get your baton out

Have you ever looked up hentai?

Do it, it buzzes in your hand

I might not be able to do screwing

Big is relative

I would like your balls please

She can put anything anywhere

I was sweating my cock off in the kitchen

Well his doesn’t look like mine

******* hell it’s massive

Quentin can study me

She’s got Cox on her mind

I have nothing against you or your mushrooms

I’ve been in the back of a cow, and I loved it

Don’t you just love horns?

Meg would you like a finger, from me?

If you went to prison, you’d be currency

All the stuff they swallow

I was really pleased that we managed to squeeze cox in

That is tapped innit…

You haven’t pressed transfer, you nugget

I’ll clack me clacker up

It’s gotta be over 6 inches before you can donate it

Do you know what? I’m in love with you

Create a vaccuum

I think that was an F sharp

I would be most put out if i was put to the back of the queue.

Gotta be honest, it was quite a big one

Firstly, you’re a girl and secondly, you like leather

I could step in them, I’ve got really pretty feet

Most of the things I’ve seen are small.

I love a green banana, they’re fresh and firm

British people do my tits in

It’s better when it’s wet

It’s a really small gap how do they expect you to get your finger in there

Don’t mind me, just having a lick

if you don’t like toffee you can just have a finger!

There’s nothing wrong with them, stop being gay

Make it squeak

I think i’ve eaten too much cheese

Fannies are brilliant

For someone that’s not inbred, you do look a bit weird

I regularly block my toilet. I block it more often than I don’t. Daily.

An expert in blowing Kev’s trumpet

There’s more to a relationship than their phallus

Wanking? IDK?

Hello

How many fingers can you get up there?

No he’s AIDs gay

I’m gonna choke on this pencil in a minute

I’ll have your mushroom, you can have my egg

It’s noticeably big

Nothing is racist unless you are being obnoxious

It’s 25 cunting degrees!

You’re not dripping in gucci are you?

She did give it to me